Should My Partner Track My Period?
Whilst it may sound strange to some, the question of whether romantic partners should – or should not – track their spouse’s periods, remains a common dilemma for many women in both casual and committed relationships.
Despite, personally not having been in a romantic relationship where my partner did want to track my period, I have however had multiple friends share that their partner does track their period and is quite happy to do so.
For women, period tracking is considered extremely normal –hell it’s almost expected. There’s no denying it…we females, prefer to know when our period is due so we can plan and prep accordingly – after all, there’s nothing worse than a surprise period.
Menstrual tracking not only assists women with identifying whether their body is healthy and thriving but also when their most fertile window is for conceiving. Being aware of when you are and are not fertile is crucial when trying for a baby – hence, period-tracking pregnancy apps are all the rage at the moment.
Just like the female individual who is due for her period would prefer to know when that may be so she can best prepare, in 2023, it seems more and more partners and spouses are also eager to be looped in and briefed on the power of period tracking.
In order for our significant others to best prepare for the typical symptoms we experience during menstruation, more and more partners are willingly wanting to take part in period tracking.
To broaden our knowledge of why some couples do choose to engage in period tracking and to further assist our customers in deciphering whether this may be the right choice for them, The Fix spoke with certified relationship coach, Katie O’Donoghue to learn more.
What are some of the reasons why our partners may want to track our period?
Whilst all couples may engage in period tracking for a variety of reasons,
O’Donoghue does agree that there are certainly a handful of common reasons why more and more couples are participating in period tracking together.
“For the emotionally mature and secure man, possible reasons why he may want to track his female partners period is because he wants to be more conscious and attentive to his partner when she’s going through a particularly painful or vulnerable time each month. Or if there’s an agreement to try for a baby (or not), he may need to be aware of when she’s ovulating to take the necessary steps in whatever direction the couple are looking to move toward”.
“However, there are some insecure or emotionally immature men who will only want to be aware of their partner’s period so they can meet their own sexual needs every other day of the month. This type of man will typically view a woman’s period as “inconvenient” or “pretty disgusting”, says O’Donoghue.
That said, if your partner ( male or female ) is wanting to track your period we do suggest having a serious conversation with them to discuss why they are wanting to do so. From here, you can debate whether this is something you both feel comfortable moving forward with together.
What if my boyfriend/partner does not feel comfortable tracking my period?
It’s not unreasonable or uncommon for partners to feel somewhat uncomfortable when it comes to period tracking as it is not considered your typical topic of conversation – therefore it will not warrant not the most typical responses.
“It’s incredibly important to be curious on why this might be so and to also be intentional with your partner as to why it’s important for them to be tracking your period. One possible reason why your boyfriend/partner does not feel comfortable tracking your period is because they feel some element of shame or fear around being so aware of what is going on with your body. This usually goes back to their childhood and their experiences around female menstrual cycles”.
“At the end of the day, if a man is in a relationship with you, a woman, then they should be comfortable enough to deal with these things – and if they’re not, it might be time to get some much-needed education (or therapy to understand why it’s so uncomfortable for them)”, O'Donoghue states.
My boyfriend/partner does not track my period, should they be?
Similar to us here at The Fix, O’Donoghue believes that period tracking together as a couple may not work for everyone… and that’s okay. Couples who do choose to participate in joint period tracking have obviously decided to do so, based on both individuals voicing that they are on the same page in terms of expectations.
“It’s very much dependent on the couple and what the intention is behind tracking your period. Is it so he can be aware of your needs and be more supportive during your period? Is it to avoid a pregnancy? Is it to be aware of ovulation and to increase your chances of pregnancy? It will vary from couple to couple but open and curious conversations around this will be incredibly important for gaining clarity on whether it’s the right choice for you both as a couple”, says O’Donoghue.
Why do you believe more and more partners are engaging in period tracking? Do you believe it's just a trend?
Whilst period tracking is currently trending amongst younger couples,
O’Donoghue confirms that this is not the only reason we have seen a recent spike in males wanting to be somewhat included in their partner's cycle.
“People are becoming more conscious in their relationships and part of that means being more present for your partner – period, or not. If anything, I think it empowers a man to be in a position where he can consider the time of the month and whether his partner will need more support, more affection or less activities, for example, especially if she has any complications or challenges like PCOS or endometriosis”.
“When a woman goes through menopause it may be incredibly beneficial for the man to be as equally informed as the woman. Knowledge really is power especially when it comes to your partner and their body. After all, how can you expect to support your partner in a way that she needs it if you’re not fully aware of what she’s going through physically, mentally or emotionally at any stage of life?”, says O’Donoghue.
What advice would you give to those looking to engage in period tracking with their partner?
While not all advice will be suitable and beneficial to every couple’s situation, the typical advice given to those engaging in period tracking is to be sure you and your partner are clearly communicating and aware of each other’s needs.
To successfully participate in period tracking together, both you and your partner should feel comfortable having conversations surrounding menstruation both in and outside the bathroom.
“Having your partner learn and track your cycle can enable more open and curious conversations about your menstrual health. Not only that but females are generally not the best at asking for help or support when they truly need it and so, having your partner informed puts him in a position of power for taking initiative and being mindful of what you might need more or less of during your period, or in the lead up to it”.
“As a woman in a relationship with a man, I can say that my fiancé and I openly talk about periods to the point where I have arrived home to find that he had gotten me two different types of iron supplements - he was concerned I was fatigued because of my monthly bleeds”.
“At the time, that was really nice to experience because it showed me that he’s not only considerate of my needs and in tune with things but also, he’s secure in himself that he’s not afraid to go out and get me things to support me through my period – supplements, tampons or pads!” says O’Donoghue.
Here at The Fix, we believe that deciphering whether period tracking is right for you and your partner is a discussion that needs to be had in an open and accepting conversational environment.
Both parties should feel comfortable expressing how they honestly feel.
To learn more about Katie’s work as a relationship coach, or to book a 1:1 appointment with Katie, visit www.katieodonoghue.com or @katie0donoghue on Instagram.